A close photographer friend sent me the following link today:
http://blog.ionalynn.com/2007
It's a story of a shoot that obviously didn't go as planned. I've been fortunate to have almost all positive experiences with the photographers I shoot with. It helps that I'm extremely selective, and will only shoot with someone if a trusted friend speaks highly of the person...though this definitely narrows down my ability to make art with others.
Nudity does not equal sex. The comment about the model being a "tease" disgusts me.
I'm a big fan of meaningful and funny quotes. There's been a few that have tickled my fancy lately:
"Behind every great man...is a great woman...beating that man."
"If you make room in your life for pain, it won't hurt as much."
"Men are like wine. They start off as grapes, then it's up to women to smash the hell out of them to make them into something respectful to have dinner with."
"What you want the most can cause you the most pain."
"Give her an inch and she'll take a country!" (a Domina Irene Boss quote)
"You'll learn to value the very air you breathe...(followed by me cutting off your oxygen supply)"
"Women are like fine wine...they only get better with age."
"I choose chocolate over men every time." (a Vendela Zane quote)
"Have you ever stuck your penis in a woman and disappointed her?"
**If anyone else has any FemDom quotes they'd like to add, feel free to comment here.
...is to be yourself. Doing this involves: speaking your mind, being true to what you believe, and living your life to your own expectations. To all those that do all these things every day...I thank you. You're an inspiration to me.
I've often wondered why people stay in abusive relationships. Many people would view the BDSM and D/s lifestyles as abuse, and I'd say that consensual interactions are what separates our lifestyle from abuse. What I'm talking about is a bird of another feather entirely. In the past, I've helped many friends get out of abusive situations. I've also dealt with the aftermath of the breakups and have tried to steer people towards proper counseling.
But why stay? The answer I hear over and over again is that, "I'll be lonely". What's so bad about being alone? Staying in an abusive situation is much worse than any loneliness you'll ever feel. Believe me...I know from experience. Abuse isolates you from your friends and family. It can distort your views of both yourself and others.
The lovely wikipedia describes Stockholm Syndrome as, "a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which the hostage has been placed. Stockholm syndrome is also sometimes discussed in reference to other situations with similar tensions, such as battered person syndrome, rape cases, child abuse cases and bride kidnapping." I've recently heard this terminology used in reference to emotional abuse. This was done by a friend's therapist. Lately, many of my friends have found themselves in emotionally abusive situations. Some have left and recognize the signs, while others are showing the "us vs. the world", mentality.
I was told that my relationships with people are extremely atypical. If you take out the kink component, I wonder what is so atypical about people being genuinely happy with each others company, not ever screaming at each other, dealing with anger in a constructive way, and accepting that not everyone agrees. Not everyone I know is screaming at the one they love because he/she has had a bad day, belittling their significant other because he/she worries about the other person's well-being, or threatening to run off after a disagreement. Don't we enter relationships because they make us happy and are fulfilling? Back to my loneliness question, why is it so hard to not be in a relationship?
I view my time when I wasn't in serious relationships as time well spent. It gave me time to focus on my personal growth, learn things I previously didn't have time for, and realize what I really needed in a potential partnership. The way I look at the world is, "life is too short to spend time with those who don't give a fuck about you." I realized at a very early age that I'd rather be alone than hang around negative people. You never know when your time on this plane of existence will end. Wouldn't you rather go out knowing that you spent time wisely with people that loved you-and loved you for the real you?
I view these negative relationships as perpetuating hate, anger, and frustration in this world. It is emotionally painful for friends and loved ones to be around any form of abuse. If you're currently in an abusive relationship, I hope you recognize it, and can find the proper help. Realize that those that are helping you may reach a breaking point if you don't leave. They may have to distance themselves from you now in order to help you more in the future. What are you doing to yourself and your loved ones by continuing this path?
Special thanks to my rubber hippie worm across the pond for sending this today:
FEMINISM AND FREE SPEECH |
| * Arts Censorship * The Internet * Pornography * Prostitution The Free Speech Pamphlet Series: Pornography 1. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OBSCENITY AND PORNOGRAPHY
2. SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL CAUSES VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
3. MEN WATCH PORNOGRAPHY AND COPY IT OR FORCE WOMEN TO DO WHAT THEY SEE
4. PORNOGRAPHY DEGRADES WOMEN
5. PORNOGRAPHY IS ONLY FOR MEN
6. THE WOMEN IN PORNOGRAPHY ARE EXPLOITED OR VICTIMIZED
7. AS AN AID TO MASTURBATION, PORNOGRAPHY IS ACTION THAT IS NOT PROTECTED BY THE FIRST AMENDMENT
8. BANNING SEXUAL MATERIAL WILL PROTECT OR HELP WOMEN
© FFE This publication was developed for FFE by Patti O. Britton, Ph.D. Jennifer Maguire and Beth Nathanson, M.A. |
I've decided to include some of my favorite pervy websites on here as well. In the future, I'll be including things that are informative and fun.
Recently, I was sent an invitation to join Femdommesociety.com. It's a wonderful site dedicated to the practice of Female lead relationships. Once you sign up for a gold membership, there are a lot of perks. You can access videos, photos, stories, the message board, search for other Dominants or slaves, and be in the monthly contest to win goodies. The FemDom University, slave school, and sissy classes are truly an asset to learn more about the lifestyle.
As negotiations progress, naturally some common questions come up. One of which is, "what is your style of Domination?" This is a question I often have a hard time answering.
I understand why this question comes up. The response to it is an important gauge of whether or not the submissive and I are compatible. After reading this blog, hopefully you'll understand why this is a difficult question to answer.
First, I believe humans are complicated creatures. We're full of contradictions. None of us tend to stay in one type of emotion for a long period of time. When we're stressed, we're feeling a lot of other things. Frustration, anger, and perhaps sadness are often felt simultaneously with stress. So...how can I come up a neat and precise answer to the "style of Domination" question?
To put it bluntly, I'm a complete sadist. I love to hear whimpers and howls of consensual pain. I love to see the look of apprehension and confusion during mind games and complex orders I give. Knowing that I'm leaving a lasting impression on a submissive creature by either the marks that will take at least a week to heal, or the mindfuck that just ended is what rocks my socks.
This leads me to my next adjective...I'm also nurturing. I make my slaves check in to make sure they're mentally and physically well after a heavy session. I try to inspire personal growth and catharsis when I play. Sometimes a breaking down of ego occurs. Other times my nurturing side comes out in some sort of teacher/student role play.
I can also be a cold, cruel, and heartless bitch. Some of my friends in the lifestyle have called me, "The Ice Queen". Variations of cold and cruel often come out when people least expect it. I don't like screaming and find other ways to put people in their place.
"Sensual", is not a word I often use to describe my personality, but just like anything else, I have my moments.
Playfulness and silliness can come out. I enjoy having a good and hard laugh every once in a while. It's therapeutic. If you can laugh with me and at yourself, that's even better. I enjoy making people do absurd things for my amusement. It's so rare that adults have a good laugh without a tinge of cynicism. Why can't BDSM play be just like playing when we were children?
If I had to pick one word to describe my style of Domination, it would be, "diverse". I enjoy keeping people on their toes. That's better than saying I'm a sadist-nurturer-cold-sensual-playful Domina! Embrace your contradictions and take a walk on the pervy side.
I touched base on this a little on my web board, but it's worth it to post here. After playing both professionally and personally for a while, scenes and sessions can get stale. With all the personalities I come across and deal with on a day to day basis, there have been times when I've thought about throwing in the towel-so to speak. Often, people aren't appreciative of the time you give, the planning you put into a scene or session, or are just plan rude.
When I think of what motivates me to keep playing and seeking out play partners, I come up with a few things. The light in a slave's eyes as she/he slips into sub space, the groans of pain mixed with pleasure coming from a masochist, but the most important to me is genuine power exchange.
If you think about it, genuine power exchange is rare. How often is trust built with another person-the kind of trust where you'd allow another person to have her way with you? Have you ever been able to walk into a dungeon or studio, fall to your knees and say, "do whatever your heart desires"? Could you do this with full confidence that your boundaries wouldn't be blatantly disregarded? Have you played without code words?
The time it takes to build up this level of trust can vary. Thorough negotiations are needed as well as the Domina's knowledge of your biorhythms. Some people just click as play partners. They know themselves very well, and can open up to infinite possibilities. There is no guilt or shame in their play time afterwards. They can just be in the moment...
As I grow as a person, I hope to help my play partners grow as well. I hope to play at this level more frequently in the future. Stating intentions is the first step...
For those of you who'd like to hear my voice, ask me questions about sessions, enact a fantasy over the phone, or be verbally degraded, I'm going to be taking calls on Thursdays through Keen.com. My schedule is subject to change, so I suggest staying tuned in to my blog and Keen page.
***edit on 10/24/07 I decided to add a whole, "Phone Domination" page to my site. They include buttons to see if I'm available which directly link you to Keen. For those of you who are new to Keen and are interested in a phone session, email me. There's a special promotion where I can send you three free minutes. My email address is MistressNatalya@gmail.com
I love sex toys. My favorite one has been my hitachi magic wand. Everyone tells me that these are supposed to last for ages. I had mine for about five years. The other night I was playing away with my lover. Things were feeling quite lovely...then POP! A few sparks shot of of the toy after the noise. One of the sparks slightly scathed my lover, but I am ok. We were more shaken up then anything.
Sure this is pretty damn hilarious, but I hope no one else has had this issue. Things could have gone much worse. Maybe sex toys should come with expiration dates?
Here are a few shots from the Kinky Picnic shoot with Miss Bee and Salome. Why not have a picnic dressed in rubber?
I wasn't kidding about September...
Come out and give summer a death kiss with us!
*I'm not sure why the right side keeps getting cut off. If someone can help me fix this, I'd greatly appreciate it.
September, by nature, is an extremely busy month for me. This year is no exception. Be patient with me people!
On networking websites, we're asked to describe ourselves. On our own Professional Domination sites, we try to give potential clients an idea of our play style, interests, and personality. We have protocol set to attract the type of people we want to play with and deter those pesky "wankers" that try to eat up our time.
I'd say the following about myself: I'm understanding to a certain degree, but won't let people walk all over me; I'm an often blunt yet tactful communicator, I'm diverse and keep people on their toes, I'm always trying to learn something new, I expect those I interact with to be honest and treat me with respect, if I feel that's not being honored, I'm quick to sever ties with that person; I follow the philosophy, "life's too short to spend with those who don't give a shit about you", I get feelings about people and trust my gut, and few things shock or surprise me anymore.
My understanding nature has been really tested with regards to Professional Domination. I spend A LOT of time during pre-session negotiations. Why? Because even though you're going to be submissive to me in sessions, we're not in a 24/7 situation, therefore I respect your time and what you're looking for in a FemDom interaction. You should and have to give me the same respect. This has not been happening lately. Here are a few situations I've dealt with in the past few years as a Pro Domina:
1. A client who had seen me regularly for overnight sessions coming in high and attacking me.
2. Wankers leaving threatening voice mails on my cell phone. There are too many to discuss here.
3. My business partner refusing to pay me the thousands of dollars he owed me and then trash talking me on public forums.
4. A man waiting for me outside the dungeon and attempting to follow me home.
5. A regular client saying the following, "Since I've invested $X in you as far as sessions go, you owe me a nude session, a fuck, etc."
Wow! That's a lot of shit to put up with! Have you ever wondered why it's difficult to book a session with a Pro Dom? If you still do, read the section above again. If you're still clueless, you're of no value to a woman.
My aim in writing this is not for a pity party. It's for my readers to understand why I have my protocol and stick to it. Currently, my protocol requires a lot of back and forth with email and trying to schedule public meetings. I will NEVER book a session with you until we have a public meeting. Hours of my time are spent with you before we actually play and you pay a tribute! I think that's pretty damn generous. Do you get paid hourly at work? Or are you paid a salary calculating in the amount of hours of work expected of you weekly? How about bonuses and yearly raises? Here's some food for thought: The average tribute for a session with a Pro Dom has drastically DECREASED over the past twenty years, but the overhead for our business consistently INCREASES. My point is that we do what we do because we love it. Despite all our negative experiences and difficulties, we push on. We pursue other aspects of this business as well as other interests. This makes us very busy people.
My time has not been respected. I seek play partners and clientele who truly know the value of a Pro Dom and lifestyle player. I seek people who want to go on a genuine power exchange journey, not mere dabblers. I expect novices to do research on their interests and fetishes before contacting me for a session. As times change, I adapt my protocol to make things easier on myself and make sure I spend time with people who respect me.
With that said, stay tuned for changes in protocol. Since there has been an utter lack of respect lately, the newbies who want to spend time with me, will have to pay dearly for it. If you think this sucks, talk to the other males you know on forums, at clubs, meetings, and elsewhere to treat women better. All it takes are a few bad apples to make it harder on everyone.
When I first started working as an independent Pro Domina, I kept getting asked the same questions. One of the top inquiries was, "Do you have X piece of equipment or Y toy?" There's no problem with wanting to know if the Mistress has a wide enough toy collection to expand your horizons. Most of these inquiries were about medical implements.
After reading more about hepatitis A-E and HIV, I'm surprised more Doms don't insist on clients either bringing their own medical toys to session, or investing in an autoclave. In the past I've been told that pressure cookers are wonderful and cheap ways to sterilize sounds, speculums, and other metal toys. According to health practitioner standards and codes, this is NOT the case. In fact, it's one of the worst ways to try to sterilize something. Let's say you did a sounding scene with a slave. You didn't know it, but he had a subtype of hepatitis. Well, you throw the sounds in your pressure cooker to "sterilize" them and prep them to be used with another slave. At this point you've put the second slave at risk of contracting whatever your first slave has. That's not something I want to be responsible for.
So here are some reasons for investing in your fetish(whatever it may be):
1. The obvious health reasons. You know exactly where your toys have been. Read about the subtypes for hepatitis on the internet.
2. Your toys can be taken out to stir up some hot fantasies. You can relay them to your Mistress and be either punished for being so dirty, or rewarded for amusing her! :)
3. Whatever your religious association-or lack of one-I think our toys carry some of the energy from the experiences that have been had with them. Sometimes it's nice to have that positive energy near by when you're going through rough times.
4. Fit. It is impossible for a Mistress to have all the sizes of that rubber hood to do breath play with you, the proper fitting chastity device, the perfect fitting catsuit in either rubber or leather, or the correct size slave collar. For larger or smaller sizes, often things have to be custom made. We try to get an idea of the size of our slaves when ordering, but sometimes this doesn't work.
5. It shows initiative and dedication. In the past I've seen many novice dabblers who expect a rubber catsuit in their exact size. Do they end up sessioning often enough to validate that expense? No! Investing in your fetish shows a Mistress how serious you are. If you are serious about your fetish, chances are we'll want to spend time with you...i.e. more fun for all!
6. Travel. Many Mistresses travel to other cities. Obviously, a Mistress can't take her entire dungeon with her. Sometimes the space she rents from doesn't have that specific CBT toy that gets you weak in the knees.
For your health, safety, and blissful enjoyment, I hope you've given investing in your fetish some thought.
I love browsing the internet for new ways of restriction with rubber. Today I came across the beauty above. It's from the site www.rubbers-finest.com
What's the best part? You can enjoy a video of a very sexy female top putting this wet dream on a hapless male.
Go to the "shop" portion of the site, click on "masks", scroll down and click on " new HVN inflatable". There is a play movie button on your lower right.
Now I need to change my panties...
In my previous post I included the details for the celebration, but here are some gift ideas:
A gift certificate to Madame-S:
http://www.madame-s.com/GC001.html
A gift certificate to Jt's Stockroom:
http://www.stockroom.com/Gift-Certificate-P2316.aspx
A gift certificate to Amazon:
http://amazon.com/gp/product/B00067L6TQ/ref=sv_gw_0/103-3554881-3097418
A gift certificate to Ruby Room spa:
https://rubyroom.boomtime.com/lgift
A gift certificate to Vex Clothing(aka yummy latex!):
http://vexclothing.com/Products/Extras/collection.php?page=giftcert
Many of these gift certificates can be sent via email to: MistressNatalya@gmail.com
If not, you can present them to me at the party at Exit, or arrange a private session.
*****My actual birthday is September 27th.
Three Libras...
Miss Maya Sinstress continues to be an amazing wonder woman and has put together a party for Miss Bee, Vine, and me. Here is the flier:
Hopefully all my friends and slaves will be able to make it. I'll be posting a gift idea list shortly...
Through my time as a lifestyle and pro domina, my tastes and style have gone through many evolutions. Certain types of play I reserve for my personal play partners, and I've been exposed to many things that stimulate and titillate. One thing that has remained constant is my knowledge of how BDSM, D/s, fetish and role play can help others. It's as therapeutic as it is fun!
There is nothing like a real time encounter, but I've decided to open up a paid phone line. The idea came about when couples and single males started emailing me with questions and stories of experiences they've had. As word spread, I found myself becoming a BDSM advisor of sorts. Unfortunately, due to my busy schedule I can't sit down and talk with everyone over a sushi dinner(although I'd love to). The next best thing is to have a phone line for this specific purpose.
This line is called, "Domina Natalya's BDSM advice and confessional". You can either call or set up an appointment through Keen.com. Here's the number:
1-800-ASK-KEEN, extension 02106077
The second line I've opened up is for general slave training and domination. As more and more people are exposed to BDSM, D/s, fetish and role play, protocol often gets thrown by the way side. This is an excellent way for potential first time clients to get an idea of what I expect in real time sessions. My long distance slaves can also receive assignments and inquire about types of play they haven't tried in real time yet.
Here's the number:
1-800-ASK-KEEN, extension 02095515
Last, but certainly not least is the humiliation line. As I've put in my listing, this line is not for those with fragile egos and closed minds! I enjoy humiliation as a form of edge play and know it can be a cathartic experience for those who need ego removal to proceed with training. This line lets me use my full creative capacity in this type of play.
Here's the number:
1-800-ASK-KEEN, extension 02095521
For those of you who are new to Keen, my full listing can be seen at:www.keen.com/Natalya Sadici
In the next few weeks I hope to add recordings of some of my personal play time encounters. I just have to get used to how the site wants audio files uploaded. I'm also working on a website overhaul. There will be direct link buttons to the lines with a special offer for new Keen clients. I will post in my blog once this massive overhaul is completed!
I hope to talk to, help, dominate, and keep in touch with many interesting individuals through my phone lines. Remember: each call helps me expand my toy and wardrobe collection so I can offer a wider variety of real time sessions.
I was working in another dungeon setup. There was a male business owner, and the space was on the first floor of a really old building. The floors were hard wood with gauges from years of high heels and furniture being moved around. We had a porn store on the side as you came in, but there were bars across the front door and more on the inside before you could set foot in the actual space.
I had just changed into less pervy attire, when I heard the front door buzzer. Confirming with another Domina that no more sessions were booked that day, I pushed the intercom button.
"Who is this?"
"It's..(garbled)"
"I didn't quite catch that. Do you have an appointment?"
"It's (garbled)...(static)I want to have a session with a professional-uh dominatrix."
"Well you sure as fuck are going about this the wrong way! How the hell did you find this space?"
I clicked on the security cameras to make sure the guy wasn't with anyone else. My fellow Dom friend and I looked at each other with devilish grins. There was a young guy-barely 23-drenched in the rain, just waiting for a response. I gave the other Domina a knowing nod.
"We're going to let you in on one condition."
"And what's that?"
"You do everything we say without question. Is that clear?"
(Pause)
"Have you lost your courage?"
"No."
"Are you just being a pussy now?"
"Ok ok! I agree. Can I please come in?"
A loud whine of the security bars lifting filled the air. The boy promptly knocked on the door. I couldn't hold back my sadistic laughter. This male specimen had no idea what he was walking into.
After pressing a remote button to open the door, the kid almost ran face first into the second set of bars. The other Domina and I started laughing maniacally.
"You are way too fucking eager!" I shouted at him while strolling up to the bars. "Empty your pockets and slide everything through the bars."
He hesitantly did as he was told.
"Get down on your knees with your hands behind your back. Under no circumstances are you to move, speak, or do anything without permission. Is that clear?"
"Uh-yes."
"If you do anything we deem inappropriate, we're going to remove you from the premises in a very unpleasant manner. Trust us...you do not want to experience that method. Do you understand the terms of your submission?"
"Yes."
"I am going to open the second set of bars now."
As the bars slid out of the way. The boy was on his knees as was told. My Domina friend and I(I'll call her J for brevity. Although she had no name in the dream.) grabbed him by his elbows and dragged him like a rag doll into the center play area. He started shaking with his eyes wide. Domina J rapidly tied his arms and legs spread eagle to four sturdy eyebolts in the floor. I opened a chest of toys and slowly pulled out a few implements while interrogating the boy.
"Do you realize how much of a predicament you're in?"
"I was hoping to-"
"Does it look like we give a shit about your hopes? You NEVER EVER show up at a Domina's play space without booking a session. Right now it would have been better for you if we called the police."
I carefully pulled out a pair of knarled sewing sheers and cut off all his clothes. Domina J sat on his chest to hold him down. He started squirming in fear as the sheers came close to his boy bits. Despite his raging hard on, we could see the mix of sheer terror and intrigue in his eyes.
"Do you realize that seeing a Pro Domina is a privilege, not a right for every male creature with a hard on for kink? Did you even come with a tribute?"
"What's a tribute?"
Domina J sneered and spit in his face. She walked over to the door and went through the contents of his pockets. He had no wallet...just some receipts from meals and a padlock.
"Now how the hell did you expect to have a session with a Pro Domina without a tribute?"
His skin started to bead with sweat.
"You're not going to answer our questions?" Domina J balked. "I can't believe the nerve of some males."
My blood started to boil. What the hell was going on? I decided to make this experience as long and unpleasant for the boy as possible. Domina J handed me a box of 14 gauge needles. The boy started whining and trying to struggle against his bonds. I grabbed his hair and spoke millimeters from his face.
"I am going to slide each needle through your skin as slowly as humanly possible. You are going to be adorned with every needle in this box. If we think that's not enough...I'm sure we have other boxes."
Each needle going in resulted in a shrill scream from the boy. His whole body was red and shaking after the first two. Stinking sweat dripped from his armpits and forehead.
"Do you ever shower, or do you naturally smell like a pig that's rolled around in shit?" Domina J started laughing.
Hours must have passed as we slowly inserted over 300 needles into the boy. At this point he was pale, cold, and clamy. After taking turns spitting in and smacking his face, Domina J and I took an equally long time removing the needles. His blood oozed a bright red onto the floor.
"Don't think we're finished yet. This is a lesson for you. Your tribute is being payed in blood rather than dollars."
I asked Domina J to bring my scalpels.
"Since you thought with nothing but your small head," I paused to point at his penis. "We're going to make sure you never forget the consequences of not using your big head to make decisions."
The boy started screaming and thrashing wildly.
"You're not going to chop it off are you? I'll do anything! Anything!"
"We're not going to chop it off, but you won't be able to use it comfortably for a while."
"What do you mean by that?"
Domina J was losing her temper. "Do you really think you're in any position to question our actions? You're an irresponsible intruder who'll be lucky to leave with anything in tact!" She punched him in the nose. I could hear the bone crunch. Strangely, this made him quite down. He regulated his breathing and stared blankly into space. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was going into shock. Domina J and I looked at each other and walked into our kitchen area. We both grabbed a class of cool water. After hearing some whimpers, we dumped our glasses out on his face.
Slowly, I pulled out the first scalpel from its packaging. The boy tried very hard not to look at it.
"You can close your eyes, but you're going to feel every slice."
With precision, I grabbed the head of his penis and made the first slice. This slice extended his existing urethra down. His screams were near deafening. I decided to make the second vertical slice on the head more quickly in order to spare our ears.
"Congratulations! You have a pacman penis!" Domina J and I burst out laughing in a fit of girlish giggles. After containing ourselves, I pulled out the second scalpel.
"Now...you're going to wear the mark of your first lesson." I handed Domina J another scalpel. We gave each other a knowing nod.
By the time we were finished, the boy had the following permanently scarred on his chest:
I will always bring at least $250 for each hour I want to play with a Pro Dom.
After completing this bloody feat, Domina J and I tossed the naked, bleeding, and scarred boy into the raining streets of the city.
***It goes without saying that this never occured. I would never actually do this to an intruder.
Failure is not falling down. Failure is not getting up once you've fallen. Thank you to the guy who wrote this. It's strange how you read or see things and meet people when you need to. Perhaps it's further proof that we're all connected.
I've learned and grown so much this week...
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
We'll see how long this stays posted...:)
This Saturday will mark the first week my slave has been in enforced chastity. To the left is one of a few photos he sent me. I say, "enforced", because I am the sole key holder of the chastity device. He can't slide this off, masturbate, and try to slip it back on.
In the past I've been approached by many males who wanted to attempt chastity. When it came down to it, keys were never sent, devices were never purchased, and I was one unhappy lady! It brings me great amusement and happiness to finally have someone come through. There are so many people who love the idea of this level of submission, but it was best kept to mental fantasy.
This slave's current assignment is to keep a journal for me. Since there are many misconceptions about chastity, I thought it would be a great opportunity to educate others if I posted his entries on a semi-regular basis. We'll see how this goes...
Here are some photos I shot with depix. The space had a great ambiance and I loved that anyone could stumble into our shoot! I think we may have left some lube trails behind...
Due to my busy schedule, I haven't had the time to check and respond to emails in a timely manner. When I do check emails, I get a load of the following:
Hi Natalya Sadici , I find now why this world a bad world is!
The People are not made intellect, intellectual create fault in think
of good is or not good!
GOD made people not with intellect of animal! a magic power tree wit
apple give people intellect, intellectual!
God made Earth and made Adam (men) and Eva (women) are good People!
GOD give people no intellect, intellectual! God they against Adam
and Eva, does not go of that tree eats with the apple if you will
there with of get you intellect, intellectual of people today!! (GOD
knew that when people got intellect, intellectual them people do
crazy thins!! but Eva were this way stupid ad eat of the apple! The
woman became beautiful and sexy and executes and adam now also of the
apple!
I kept out the name of the person who sent this to protect his identity. Hopefully all of you got a good laugh. When I get a lot of emails like this, I lose my desire to respond to emails in general. I apologize to those of you who haven't heard from me in a while.
This topic has come up often in conversations and I've decided to be blunt about my views. I do not allow physical release in sessions. Period. There is no jerking off while I go and wait for you in another room. For those of you who are curious as to my reasoning and logic, read on. If choking your chicken at the end of a delicious scene is an absolute necessity, then we're not meant to play together.
Here are my reasons:
1. I feel that as a submissive male, you should not expect me to watch you masturbate.
You can expect that I will keep you on your toes, create a session that explores both of our interests, demands a lot of you, and tests your limits without crossing them. I do not enjoy watching a submissive male pump his joy rod. Even if you claim, "I find it humiliating, Mistress!" I will not change my way of thinking. There are plenty of other ways I can humiliate you while amusing myself at the same time. I've also heard the following: "but I'm paying you" or the notorious, "but I've invested a lot of money in you, so why can't I have release?" This is all a form of manipulation. My desire to play in the professional realm is not motivated by money. Do you want a power exchange? That is what you are paying for when you have a session with a Pro Dom. You are giving your power to a Dominant Female. In this case I make the decisions.
2. If you expect to masturbate at the end of a session, you are not truly submissive.
This point goes along with the first one. I play with submissive males and females. What you can expect is listed above. Power exchanges are thoroughly negotiated. How and where you ejaculate is negotiation for your vanilla sex partners. Ejaculation should not end play time and that is what ends up happening if you are motivated to submit by orgasm. Submission should come from a deeper place than that dangling piece of flesh between your legs. Consequently, I am the one in charge. I am the one that says play time is over:)
3. There are deeper levels of BDSM play and ejaculation ruins this possibility.
I have played quite a bit both professionally and in my personal life. The most intense and rewarding scenes and sessions have been ones that did not include ejaculation. These experiences have resulted in an emotional release. As a close friend once told me, "a really great orgasm can be remembered for weeks and even months. An emotional release is an experience that will stay with you for the rest of your life."
The way male anatomy is set up results in a sudden drop in energy level after ejaculation. To achieve higher states of consciousness and deeper levels of play, you need to keep the energy flowing through your body. A power exchange is also an energy exchange. We fuel each other and become synergistic.
I desire to play at a different level and choose partners who have open minds. Fakir Musafar talks about intense sensations and if you ejaculate, you can't transcend. This is mentioned in the book, Modern Primitives. I highly recommend this book to those who are into varying states of consciousness and body modification.
4. Ejaculating too much ruins your health.
Do you ever feel pain or heaviness in your joints around lunch time? How about cloudy vision? Does your sleep feel restful? To create ejaculate takes energy. If you're ejaculating frequently, you're draining a lot of your energy reserves. In Asian medicine, ejaculation is literally spilling your seed of life. As you ejaculate, you become more and more depleted which can have varying negative effects on your body. However, it is possible to separate ejaculation from orgasm. Orgasming without ejaculating circulates positive healing energy throughout your body and invigorates you. This takes a lot of practice. For those of you who are interested in this, check out the Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia.
Now, why do I care about this? Slaves, play partners, and clients who have high amounts of energy are more fun to play with and can carry out various tasks with ease. What use is a submissive who is too exhausted to carry out my commands? If you're fun, I want you to be healthy so we can play more often. Besides, during vanilla sex, you'll be able to please your female partners MUCH better, and who wouldn't want that? As a submissive male, pleasing females should be your top priority.
Here are some common misconceptions and rebuttals of my views:
1. I am anti-orgasm.
-If you read #4 above, you'll notice I'm very orgasm positive! Orgasms circulate energy and blood. They are also essential to health. Taoists have sexual positions to help certain ailments, and how wonderful is that? I believe that my sessions have a different value. By putting your body and mind into intense situations, you work different parts of your brain(the big one). You are forced to be 100% present in that moment. How much of your life do you spend wishing you were somewhere else doing something exciting? Too much. When was the last time you felt a sense of achievement that helped you get to know yourself better and explore new possibilities?
2. How do you end the session then?
-There are endless possibilities.
3. I am prude and have issues with male genitalia.
-Ha! If I had issues with male genitalia, I wouldn't enjoy CBT as much as I do! Someone who is prude wouldn't have a blog that talks about sex and BDSM.
4. Why should I pay to get beaten if there's no happy ending?
-Well, you're obviously not kinky or submissive so I wouldn't want to play with you in the first place.
5. As a Pro Dom you cater to men's fantasies. This includes their desire to jerk off at the end otherwise they won't have a good time.
-First of all, I do not "cater to a man's fantasies". I am not a service provider. I am in the business of power exchange which can include role play if I enjoy the roles. The people I play with share certain kinks with me. There are plenty of people who enjoy deeper levels of BDSM. When they are in their head space, ejaculation, and even orgasm, is the furthest thing from their minds. Submission and the head space that is possible are the driving forces to session.
My website is AGAIN having issues. If you have sent a client application to me, but have not heard from me in a few days, send an email to MistressNatalya@gmail.com. Make sure you include your name, contact information, interests, boundaries, health concerns, and experience level to me in your email.
Hopefully I can get this taken care of ASAP...
Planned Parenthood is mobilizing in response to the Supreme Court's reckless decision to uphold the federal abortion ban -- a ban that tells women that politicians, not doctors, will make their health care decisions for them.
In the aftermath of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision, I am joining with hundreds of thousands of people all across America who are standing together to declare that America won't stand for abortion bans that threaten women's health.
I urge you to please click the link below to learn how you can help too.
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/planned
I was so upset by this, I wanted to start an action called, "No Sex, Just Beatings". It would urge all women to deny men sex until this decision is changed. We would thoroughly take CUNTROL of our sexuality-using vibrators, dildos, and engaging in sexual acts with other women only-while denying our male companions orgasms until things change. Perhaps, this would light the fire under men's asses to fight with us for our rights? I'm sick of seeing reports of male pro-life activists. How the hell would they ever know what a woman goes through during an unwanted pregnancy? How can a woman's life be of lesser value than a mass of cells or a fetus? Every time I see a male wearing a pro-life t-shirt, I want to castrate him.
London has a new sex theme park;) I nearly fell out of my chair laughing considering some of the conversations in my message board. There's a "spankometer"!
You have my permission to drool and plan a vacation to London...
Check out the article below:
http://www.thesun.co.uk
While traveling, I had time to reflect on a lot. Before my trip I had spent a lot of time talking to novices and friends in the scene who've had problems or bad experiences with BDSM. Some of these negative times were a result of poor communication, but many of them were a result of flat out disrespect. It angers me to no end to hear the following phrase, "if slaves can't take what I dish out, then fuck 'em." These words have come out of the mouths of many young novice dominatrix wannabes. Unfortunately, there's one person in particular who has said this and done more. Trampling kidneys and sending a person to the hospital because he, "never used his code word", is flat out unacceptable. It goes without saying that you should know better. This person is still a pro in the area. In my opinion, if you go into professional domination with this attitude, your attitude won't change. If you become a pro dom to manipulate people for money or to beat men for kicks, this should become clear to everyone.
What is my purpose in discussing this now? I've decided that being a "bigger person" does not include standing idly by while people are potentially harmed, dismembered, or worse. If I am "outed" in certain social circles as a result of this post, so be it. I do not condone scenes or sessions that are carried out without consent and result in emotional or physical harm. (i.e. harm is different than hurt in my book. Hurt can be yummy. Harm is not.) I will not promote or attend events, parties, or meetings that honor people who play with this blatant disregard of boundaries and common sense. Party promoters should research who they are about to honor. If they do not, I feel that they are a catalyst in promoting this behavior. It's called integrity people, and unfortunately, very few people have it.
For those of you who have read this far and would like to know who I'm talking about, email me at: MistressNatalya@gmail.com or PM me on my web board(www.natalyasadici.com)
I have two pieces of fetish clothing up on Ebay right now. The first is a purple and black Stormy leather corset. It has always been a little large on me even though it's a size medium. You can link to it here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAP
The second item is a short pair of leather chaps. They are missing a grommet so I'm starting the bidding very cheap. You can view them here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAP
Both of these items have been worn by me, so they can be an excellent prize for an adoring fan!
This image is from a shoot I did with Miss Bee. She is one talented lady! The concept for the shoot was varying types of bondage and the emotion that comes out of it. This was 35mm film rather than digital. Although I like digital, it's nice to sometimes go back to film. It brings out the grit of a rough and tumble scene. As you can see, my scanner is a bit off. At some point I'll get a better one. To see more of Miss Bee, you can check out her Myspace page here:
http://www.myspace.com/bsharp921
Or you can visit www.chicagodomination.com to book a session with her.
On another note, I've had a few ideas about reorganizing my website. Since I've been getting a lot of responses from novices, I thought of adding a new section to my website for them. It would include protocol, BDSM terminology, session reports from slaves who've seen me for a while, and what to expect when first contacting a Pro Domina. Do you think this would be helpful? Here's your chance to provide me with some feedback. What would you say to a novice? You can include comments here, email me at MistressNatalya@gmail.com, or send me a PM through my web board. Adding this new section will save me a lot of time and energy once it's finished. Thank you in advance for any constructive feedback you provide.
Or you can visit www.chicagodomination.com to book a session with her.
On another note, I've had a few ideas about reorganizing my website. Since I've been getting a lot of responses from novices, I thought of adding a new section to my website for them. It would include protocol, BDSM terminology, session reports from slaves who've seen me for a while, and what to expect when first contacting a Pro Domina. Do you think this would be helpful? Here's your chance to provide me with some feedback. What would you say to a novice? You can include comments here, email me at MistressNatalya@gmail.com, or send me a PM through my web board. Adding this new section will save me a lot of time and energy once it's finished. Thank you in advance for any constructive feedback you provide.
The men of New Guinea often paint themselves, imitating the birds of paradise. Women do not decorate themselves. So often in nature we see males being more colorful and smaller than females. They have to compete and impress females in order to mate.
So I wonder...have our modern day "decorations" for our bodies changed? Have paint, feathers, piercings, and tattoos been replaced by fancy cars, pretty bank accounts, and immaculate homes?
As much as I love getting dressed up, I'd love a return to males decorating themselves more for women's pleasure. Rather than material goods and status symbols, I'd like to see paint, feathers, piercings, tattoos, scars, brandings, and more creative expressions...even if they come out every once in a while and are hidden under a business suit.
In fact, I'm going to inflict some of my own "decorations" and "symbols" on a very willing male...
For those of you in the Chicagoland area...
I will be at Bondage a Go Go night at Exit with Miss Maya and Miss Cleo. If you haven't seen us in a while, get your naughty ass out this Thursday the 22nd!
Come well dressed and behaved. For more information, go to www.exitchicago.com
Yesterday I went to the Body Worlds 2 exhibit. You can check out more information here: http://www.bodyworlds.com/index.html
Even though I went to the first exhibit, I still spent about three and a half hours at the second one! I love anatomy. Yes, you can see whole bodies "filleted" for our better knowledge of anatomy, but there's also this sense of achievement and awareness.
From the quotes on the screens, you can see how people throughout time viewed death and functions of the human body. When scientists first started doing dissections, people did not have a very long life expectancy. Imagine how long it took you to get through your undergraduate and post graduate studies. Now, imagine how long you'd want these studies to take if you knew you'd only live to 35 years of age. Thinking about that gave me a new perspective on learning and my passions.
On another note, I realized how conservative we are about bodies today. There were people giggling about testicles and breasts, but it was also nice to see families bringing younger children to the exhibit. Some people were disgusted to see parts of the body that digest food. Yes, beauty is only skin deep...for most people. I think the human body is simultaneously gorgeous, disgusting, complex, and also not as functionally sound as most animals. There was one part of the exhibit that showed what being obese does to the body. If more people saw this, I believe we'd all demand better food and health care. Perhaps McDonald's would go out of business? I can hope...
The pervert in me admired the way bodies were precariously suspended and planted to be viewed in the round. I enjoyed contemplating the arrangement of wires and ropes which allowed the bodies to be so exposed for viewing. For those who think being naked and exposed is the ultimate form of humiliation, think about donating your body to be plasticized. Not only will you be immortalized, but your body could be seen by millions. Yes, I entertain the fantasy of a slave being inspired by this blog, and donating his or her body for the betterment of science:)
Lately, I've been receiving many inquiries from novices. This is wonderful, as I enjoy training a "clean slate", but many of you boys need more information. So, from now on I'm going to direct novices to this post rather than rehashing the same stuff over and over again.
Ok, so you want to see a Pro Domina, right? There are things you need to do before contacting one. First of all, you need to know what your interests are and what you're hoping to get from sessions with a Pro Domina. I call this process self actualization or knowing thyself. As I've mentioned before, how can a Lady push your pervy buttons if you don't know what works for you? Do you hope to have some fun while acting out certain fantasies? Do you want to expand your pain threshold? Do you get off on serving a curvy rubber-clad woman? Ask yourself these questions. Determine the answers. If you need help understanding what certain activities are, do some research. Do not expect a Dom to explain all the abbreviations and lingo over the phone or through email. This is why we have blogs and people spend time making websites.
Here's a great start: www.prodomination.com
Now, that you've figured out your interests and intentions through reading books, websites, watching videos, jerking off, etc. what's next? Ahhhh...the research. Finding a Pro Domina is definitely a research project. If you spend the time and effort engaging yourself in this process, chances are you will have fabulous results. The biggest mistake I see males make is picking a Domina by looks only. At this point, I could write a book about all the mishaps and misunderstandings this course of action has caused people. Do not let your dick do the dialing. Sadly, there are many "strippers with whips" out there who have not spent time developing their craft. There are many websites with Pro Domina listings. You can even join message forums to see what other slaves say about "Goddess Likestotieyouup".
If you've found someone that seems wonderful, find her website. I cannot stress the following enough: READ HER WHOLE WEBSITE! Many of us have spent weeks, months, and even years fine tuning what our sites have to say. Trying to make sure we accurately state our protocol, interests, and portray what we do and do not offer takes a lot of time and energy. If you don't make the effort to read Her whole website, what does that say about you as a slave? It says you are lazy and don't care. Why would a Pro Domina spend the time and energy on someone who doesn't respect Her effort?
Another reason to READ HER WHOLE WEBSITE is because each Lady has Her own protocol for scheduling sessions. Due to location and a variety of other factors, We've found that some things work better than others. There are Ladies that work vanilla jobs, go to school, run other businesses, etc. Know that Our time is valuable. Follow Her protocol. I have spent a lot of time developing a client application on my site. The questions I ask are to gauge similar interests and if our personalities will match. I spend a lot of time emailing back and forth before I schedule a phone consultation and eventually a coffee/lunch outing. There is no way that I will speed up or change this process because you did not plan things out before visiting Chicago. Asking a Dom to change Her protocol to fit your needs/desires is a good way to be banned or ignored.
What happens next? There are so many things, my budding novice. One last thing before you're free to persue your journey...if you appreciate the time and energy your Domina has spent on you, giving a token of your appreciation is highly encouraged. Gift giving is another topic I will write about shortly. Until then, enjoy your risque research!
I had this dream the other night which was quite amusing. Lately I've been trying to be conscious of how my energy has been effecting others. I've been doing exercises to control my own energy, harness it, and make sure other people don't suck away my reserves. Perhaps the following dream is just the workings of my perverted mind.
In the dream I'm this sex crazed demon with a long pointed tail. Sometimes my skin is red, sometimes green, and other times a pale bluish gray. I'm just about to fuck the brains out of some random guy, when a look of horror comes across his face. As he tries to push me away, I can hear his thoughts. "She's a sexual succubus! She's going to drain all my energy until I'm a mere corpse!" He manages to get away...So I'm on to the next victim-er male creature. This process happens over and over again. In the dream I just become more ravenous and sexually frustrated. You'd think I'd learn to tie these boys down, wouldn't you? Apparently, I am just careless and hungry.
So...I've had this dream three times. I can guess what it means, but I'm curious what other people think about it.
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
I'm really excited...tomorrow I'm learning how to do scrotal inflation. Medical play has always frosted my cookies, so to speak, and I'm absolutely thrilled to learn something new in this realm of play! :)
*This was originally posted on myspace. After consideration, I decided not to change anything. I do, however, want more feedback. Do you think this is clear? Do you have any questions for me? Feel free to join my discussion board at www.natalyasadici.com and discuss this post.
After meeting and playing with a variety of people throughout the years, I've gotten to know vastly different personalities. Some people are so open and honest that they're easy to read and have positive experiences with. Other people are discovering a new side of themselves through BDSM. Each play time is vastly new and broadens their horizons in both this floating world and the vanilla world. The scenes and sessions must proceed with extreme caution because we're traversing new territory. And then...there's the last type of personality. I'll preface this by saying there's nothing wrong with this type of personality, but I find it very difficult to deal with. When I was a new Domina, I had no clue what to do. With time comes experience, and I now feel better about encounters with what I'll call "seesaws".
"Seesaws" are people who have either dabbled a little bit with BDSM, never played before, or have played a lot. Most often "seesaws" will state interests and boundaries, but may carry a tinge of, "I don't know if this really works for me," in their voices. When playing with them their energy will be all over the place. You'll feel that you're getting somewhere and it's absolutely wonderful, then suddenly, his or her energy will shift and you'll just have to stop. In my experiences I've noticed no outside factors have changed. The temperature of the room didn't change, I didn't flog harder or softer, music has stayed soft and soothing, etc. What DOES happen is constant internal flux on the submissive's part. Why does this happen?
It happens because this person is either uncomfortable with his or her perversions or can't be honest with him or herself. Being uncomfortable with your perversions will give off completely contradictory energy to your play partner. On the flip side, if you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with your Top? How can you tell your Top what may or may not push your hot and juicy buttons? You just can't. You won't know your intentions for persuing BDSM either. This is a big problem. If you pursue your "seesaw" course, this can be potentially damaging to your psyche. With honesty comes knowledge of not only interests, but your boundaries too.
I realize that it's difficult for most people to look inside themselves and see what they really want and what's there. If you got what you really wanted, well...what else is there? Do you feel a sense of pride in who you are? For some, BDSM can be a catharsis and an escape. Unfortunately, it can also be an escape from dealing with our problems and growing into a better person. A responsible Top will recognize the tell tale signs. But what can the Top do then? Depending on the precise circumstances, I will do one of three things: tell the submissive to make a definite decision on the course of training and make him or her state precise reasons as to why this is the best course, stop seeing the submissive altogether and tell him or her that he or she needs to be honest with him or herself before pursuing BDSM further, or without futher explanation sever all ties with the submissive. The last course of action I've persued with one particular person. In that case the submissive played mind games and became emotionally abusive.
Can "seesaws" actually become fulfilling play partners? I've seen it happen. There's a little story I'd like to share. Two years ago I had a male client who was a novice. He had found out about me through a class I taught. Our pre session negotiations where all over the place. He wasn't sure what he wanted to try, he'd say yes to certain suggestions, and then change his mind. Every sentence uttered was filled with stutters. At first, I wanted to tell him I couldn't play with him. Unfortunately I worked for a commercial dungeon at the time and I couldn't tell people no. We ended up having a few seesaw sessions together, but strangely enough, I enjoyed them even though they were difficult. At the end of each session, I'd tell him my exact thoughts about our playtime. My frustrations were clearly vocalized. I felt he was on the verge of an emotional growth spurt. The following session consisted of no play whatsoever. We talked for 45 minutes. It was wonderful. We had one more session after that and then he finally made a decision for himself! For a guy who went through life letting everyone make decisions for him, this was HUGE. He told me our sessions together taught him how to be more assertive in life, persue the things he wanted, and he felt he had to move on. I hope he's found the Dominant wife he decided to look for. So yes, "seesaws" can change.
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