Due to unforeseen reasons, csj has to be let out of chastity. I'm very unhappy about this, but I have a feeling he'll come crawling back at some point. Despite my unhappiness he's been a fun test subject.

Speaking of chastity, I'd like to discuss behavior modification-both its importance to me, and how it can be incorporated into personal training or regular sessions. I've listed behavior modification as one of my main interests on my website. Why? Because D/s and BDSM can explore very deep parts of the psyche. Emotions, long repressed experiences, and new desires can all come to the forefront during play. Seeing the changes in my play partners through time has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences I've had. In general, I like to see our pervy adventures-no matter how intense, humiliating, or otherwise-open the person up and result in a more balanced person/pet. That's the Libra in me! Always craving balance!

Behavior modification can be something I want to change in a person, or the person desires to change in her/himself. Though I enjoy shaping male-like specimens into creatures and pets of my own design, I find it extremely interesting when a person comes to me with specific goals.

A few years ago a man called the dungeon and stated he wanted a "behavior modification session". At the time I was a new Mistress and thought he'd want to learn certain slave positions-just basic things. Given the fact it was a one hour session, I didn't think we would accomplish much. I figured he wanted the role play of being a long time slave and so forth. When we were able to talk I realized he wanted to come in regularly. His goal was to become more attentive to his wife. What better person to go to than a whip and paddle wielding dominatrix, he thought. We had a thorough conversation about his circumstances, I asked him questions about his wife, and we set to developing certain habits. Each time he came in, he'd have to discuss how things were going, if his wife vocalized annoyance with his behavior, etc. Depending on how he was doing, I'd pick a light flogger, paddle, cane, or signal whip to dish out his corrections. Eventually, his wife would book sessions for him. Though I never met her in person, she seemed thoroughly pleased and excited about how things were going.

Though I liked our arrangement, some people need more day to day discipline and motivation-especially if you're training someone who lives far away or can't see you as often. This is where I like to bring chastity into the equation. The sexual energy most males release on a regular basis gets backed up, they become agitated at first, then they look for things to do or accomplish. When you hold the key to the device, your influence is extremely powerful. There comes a period of time when the focus is on the key holder. The captive starts to have thoughts like: what can I do to please my Mistress? Would she like a massage at a spa today, her car washed, a lovely orchid plant? Eventually there is an acceptance of the situation.(chastity in and of itself will be a whole other post!) This is where the captive is most malleable and can accomplish a great deal. The sexual frantic energy coupled with acceptance of the situation is a lovely combination. If something isn't accomplished by a certain period of time, the easiest way to punish is to add more time to the chastity sentence.

For those that are more cerebral-i.e. not ruled by his genitals-behavior modification becomes more complex. You really have to dive inside your slave's head, find out what makes it tick, and figure out clever ways to punish and reward. Chastity doesn't often have the intense impact on these individuals. I've noticed more subtle means have a dramatic effect once you really know who you're working with. A phrase said, a scent, type of music, and more could be just the right thing.

In any behavior modification situation think of the following: Does this person want to change his behavior because it's what YOU want and would make YOU happy? Or is he deeply desiring the change himself? Perhaps both parties see merit in the change. Are you the gentle guide to change? Or are you enacting strict punishment at every turn? What exactly are acceptable punishments and rewards given the circumstances? Are you doing subtle behavior modification on the sly without letting your slave know your intentions? All of this must be thought about.

The key to any goal oriented modification is to set REASONABLE time tables. A person can't just drop 30 pounds in a month and be healthy. Trust must also be established. Both parties must be comfortable with the amount of communication, disclosure, honesty, time spent, and activities involved. (By comfort I mean within the realms of risk aware consensual kink.) In the cases of subtle behavior modification-where the slave doesn't know of your intentions-I'm assuming there's a knowledge of boundaries.

I highly recommend writing out your intentions and timetable. It's essential the slave keeps a journal of some sort and either presents it to you, or sends email updates. Google documents is a great way to send journal assignments and alter a time table. There's also online calendars where only certain individuals can see it. You can set your preferences to allow however many people see it while it remains almost non-existent to the rest of online world. Another idea is to have your slave sign up for a voice mail box. This keeps certain messages private, and the Mistress can leave messages of encouragement, admonishment, or update the timetable.

Happy behavior modifying! :)

Chastity slut jeff(from now on he'll be referred to as csj) has been locked away for almost a month and a half now. His slave goo is building up and poisoning his mind...perhaps so much that he can't answer simple questions through email.

Part of his punishment is posting his dilemma in this blog. The other part is to add more to his sentence. He always gets embarrassed when I mention his state to others:) I don't want my toy to build up an infection, but despite his state he needs to answer simple questions.