Due to unforeseen reasons, csj has to be let out of chastity. I'm very unhappy about this, but I have a feeling he'll come crawling back at some point. Despite my unhappiness he's been a fun test subject.

Speaking of chastity, I'd like to discuss behavior modification-both its importance to me, and how it can be incorporated into personal training or regular sessions. I've listed behavior modification as one of my main interests on my website. Why? Because D/s and BDSM can explore very deep parts of the psyche. Emotions, long repressed experiences, and new desires can all come to the forefront during play. Seeing the changes in my play partners through time has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences I've had. In general, I like to see our pervy adventures-no matter how intense, humiliating, or otherwise-open the person up and result in a more balanced person/pet. That's the Libra in me! Always craving balance!

Behavior modification can be something I want to change in a person, or the person desires to change in her/himself. Though I enjoy shaping male-like specimens into creatures and pets of my own design, I find it extremely interesting when a person comes to me with specific goals.

A few years ago a man called the dungeon and stated he wanted a "behavior modification session". At the time I was a new Mistress and thought he'd want to learn certain slave positions-just basic things. Given the fact it was a one hour session, I didn't think we would accomplish much. I figured he wanted the role play of being a long time slave and so forth. When we were able to talk I realized he wanted to come in regularly. His goal was to become more attentive to his wife. What better person to go to than a whip and paddle wielding dominatrix, he thought. We had a thorough conversation about his circumstances, I asked him questions about his wife, and we set to developing certain habits. Each time he came in, he'd have to discuss how things were going, if his wife vocalized annoyance with his behavior, etc. Depending on how he was doing, I'd pick a light flogger, paddle, cane, or signal whip to dish out his corrections. Eventually, his wife would book sessions for him. Though I never met her in person, she seemed thoroughly pleased and excited about how things were going.

Though I liked our arrangement, some people need more day to day discipline and motivation-especially if you're training someone who lives far away or can't see you as often. This is where I like to bring chastity into the equation. The sexual energy most males release on a regular basis gets backed up, they become agitated at first, then they look for things to do or accomplish. When you hold the key to the device, your influence is extremely powerful. There comes a period of time when the focus is on the key holder. The captive starts to have thoughts like: what can I do to please my Mistress? Would she like a massage at a spa today, her car washed, a lovely orchid plant? Eventually there is an acceptance of the situation.(chastity in and of itself will be a whole other post!) This is where the captive is most malleable and can accomplish a great deal. The sexual frantic energy coupled with acceptance of the situation is a lovely combination. If something isn't accomplished by a certain period of time, the easiest way to punish is to add more time to the chastity sentence.

For those that are more cerebral-i.e. not ruled by his genitals-behavior modification becomes more complex. You really have to dive inside your slave's head, find out what makes it tick, and figure out clever ways to punish and reward. Chastity doesn't often have the intense impact on these individuals. I've noticed more subtle means have a dramatic effect once you really know who you're working with. A phrase said, a scent, type of music, and more could be just the right thing.

In any behavior modification situation think of the following: Does this person want to change his behavior because it's what YOU want and would make YOU happy? Or is he deeply desiring the change himself? Perhaps both parties see merit in the change. Are you the gentle guide to change? Or are you enacting strict punishment at every turn? What exactly are acceptable punishments and rewards given the circumstances? Are you doing subtle behavior modification on the sly without letting your slave know your intentions? All of this must be thought about.

The key to any goal oriented modification is to set REASONABLE time tables. A person can't just drop 30 pounds in a month and be healthy. Trust must also be established. Both parties must be comfortable with the amount of communication, disclosure, honesty, time spent, and activities involved. (By comfort I mean within the realms of risk aware consensual kink.) In the cases of subtle behavior modification-where the slave doesn't know of your intentions-I'm assuming there's a knowledge of boundaries.

I highly recommend writing out your intentions and timetable. It's essential the slave keeps a journal of some sort and either presents it to you, or sends email updates. Google documents is a great way to send journal assignments and alter a time table. There's also online calendars where only certain individuals can see it. You can set your preferences to allow however many people see it while it remains almost non-existent to the rest of online world. Another idea is to have your slave sign up for a voice mail box. This keeps certain messages private, and the Mistress can leave messages of encouragement, admonishment, or update the timetable.

Happy behavior modifying! :)

Chastity slut jeff(from now on he'll be referred to as csj) has been locked away for almost a month and a half now. His slave goo is building up and poisoning his mind...perhaps so much that he can't answer simple questions through email.

Part of his punishment is posting his dilemma in this blog. The other part is to add more to his sentence. He always gets embarrassed when I mention his state to others:) I don't want my toy to build up an infection, but despite his state he needs to answer simple questions.

...and I couldn't be more excited! I'll be packing a lot of hemp rope, rubber, some leather, a few choice toys, and yummy heels. When I return I'm sure I'll have some slippery tales.

NOTE: My 24/7 info line is on the fritz. For those of you who've called it, email me directly at MistressNatalya@gmail.com. I will have frequent online capabilities during my travels.

Professional Domination can be particularly fluid. There isn't one set job description when referring to it. Each Mistress does things differently and has different views on where Professional Domination fits within the lifestyle. As I'm revamping my website, I wanted to include this essay in the, "For Novices" section. It will give everyone who reads it a glimpse into my views, and how I conduct my sessions. As I'm reading through posts on places like Max Fisch, I realize my style is not similar to a majority of Doms.

I will argue that the common thread in Professional Domination is the exchange of money for a somewhat set amount of play time. Even this is fluid! There are times when a Pro Dom enjoys herself so much that she loses track of time, or there's an "extended session rate". Due to the need for breaks a specific amount of play time over a couple of days is not negotiated.

Why do I think my style is different? For one, I have lengthier negotiations. Some argue this kills the lovely spontaneity of play time. There's something to be said about saying over the phone, "I'm into corporal and heavy bondage," and then sussing out limits upon arrival at the play space. Perhaps it's the throwing yourself at a Mistress's mercy that appeals to some. I, on the other hand, think this is irresponsible. Having worked in a commercial dungeon and having to look at the chicken scratch list of clients interests and boundaries 15 minutes before a session made for some unpleasant encounters. My current negotiations last over a period of a few days to a few months. Why? Because at this stage in my career, I want loyalty. I want all sorts of information that you'll never know when I'll use to your advantage/disadvantage/predicament. I want a deeper level of play time and get my kicks out of the connections that build through time rather than the quick buck I may or may not make. My lengthier negotiations also separate the dick dialers(those who see pretty pictures of Mistresses, call her instantly, and do no research on her) from the true submissives that can afford their kink. You can probably guess by reading this that Professional Domination isn't my only source of income. It was in the past, and I know what I had to put up with in order to make that sort of living. In time, who knows? Maybe I'll build up a larger and extremely loyal stable.

Second, the way I view Professional Domination is different as well. I don't like the attitude that we're in the "service industry". To me, that says the following: I pay you under the illusion of domination. In actuality, I tell you specifically what I want done to me, and if you don't do it how I want you to do it, then either I won't see you again, or I not only won't see you again, but I'll also smear your reputation on public forums. Yes, there is that exchange of money for time, but the reason I have a tribute is so people RESPECT MY TIME. Professional Domination is a business, but it's a business for those who can't openly live a kinky lifestyle, want the security of playing with someone who has honed her craft, and/or has obscure fetishes that the average lifestyle player can't get into or doesn't have the resources to indulge in.

So what is Professional Domination to me? It's something that teeters the line of lifestyle play time, friendship, and business. I dedicate time between sessions to converse-via email or if the person feels inclined to call my niteflirt lines-and discuss changes in boundaries, what worked and what didn't, increases in the amount of service she/he can provide, and more. I also grab coffee, tea, wine, lunch, or dinner on occasion with clients to talk kink, set up a session, or discuss important issues. Though I am generous with my time, I'm also firm with how much time I can give. My sessions take into consideration your interests, but I will do what I want when we play. I will dabble in your interests, but also expose you to other related activities. Your boundaries are always respected.

The other BIG thing that sets me apart from other Mistresses is release. I do not allow physical release, choking the bishop, etc. in my presence! Strangely, I've noticed this is a deal breaker for many guys seeking Pro Dom sessions. There's this attitude of, "since I'm paying, I should be able to jerk off at the end." Hmm...I thought you were paying for a power exchange. If I decide I am not amused in the slightest by guys jerking off in front of me, that's my decision. This "I'm paying" attitude ends up equating Pro Doms with common whores. Professional Domination should not be having to watch guys jerk off all the time. As I've said in another blog, you can jerk off at any time. How often do you get to see a skilled Mistress? You can replay your time with her on your own and jerk off. Holding off on stroking it will make for a much more powerful orgasm anyway! When you go home and jerk it after our session, what you replay in your mind tells me what was most erotic for you during our time together. It's a good gauge on what I can dabble more in later on. So, our time together is the gift that keeps on giving! Ha!

So perhaps, I'm not a Pro Dom for the clients who like to session occasionally and never think about kink until their next session(typically 6 months later). I seek to actively engage people so they can be comfortable with their perversions. So, I'm a Pro Dom for FemDom hedonists that indulge in kink instead of being compulsive...if you're wondering what the difference is, stay tuned. That's another essay for another time.

It's official! My blogs in the past have hinted at a partner in crime. We did a test shoot to develop some images and talk aesthetics. I'm very pleased to share the following image that Chrystyne shot.
This marks the official partnership of Chrystyne and I. Stay tuned for more photos and the start of our video project! Check out more of her work at www.chrystyne.com and www.disco-bitch.net

Yes, I will traveling to the left coast August 8th-16th. I will be taking a limited number of sessions as I want to balance playing with exploring the Bay Area. If everything works out, I will try to make yearly trips to SF!

If you want to play, make sure we have ample time to negotiate. Fill out the application form on my site or you may call my 24/7 information line and leave me a voice mail. I will return your call at my earliest convenience. The number is (641)715-3900 ext. 80010

The following gem was on craig's list:

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

Too bad this person is in SF. I would gladly be someone's nemesis. Maybe this guy needs a Dom? Would that be too obvious? Ha!

For those of you who are traveling and need to reach me more quickly, I've started a new option...to leave a message on my 24/7 informative voice mail box. The message is a few minutes in length.

Here's the number:
(641)715-3900 ext. 80010#

You MUST put in the extension and the pound sign to reach my voice mail box!

Over this lovely weekend, a friend called and asked if we had any silicone based lubricant. We said, "of course! Why?" She said that she was doing a test, and asked if we'd hold a match up to a few drops and see if it was flammable.

Of course we had to try this...and, yes, silicone based lubricant is extremely flammable.

Here's a video:

The move was successful and smooth. I have the internet back up and running, and look forward to further debauchery in our new kinky nest!

Today I received a wonderful compliment. It was in an email. I'm sure this individual won't mind me copying it here(I've put it in green):

It has been experience that the best Mistresses are grounded in their world, they are real people with a talent and a great mission to work to share their skill, art, and belief. You are defintely in that class, as has Midori, and others that i have had the priviledge to serve and seek counsel with,such as You.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.