Pro-Domination & How I do things

Professional Domination can be particularly fluid. There isn't one set job description when referring to it. Each Mistress does things differently and has different views on where Professional Domination fits within the lifestyle. As I'm revamping my website, I wanted to include this essay in the, "For Novices" section. It will give everyone who reads it a glimpse into my views, and how I conduct my sessions. As I'm reading through posts on places like Max Fisch, I realize my style is not similar to a majority of Doms.

I will argue that the common thread in Professional Domination is the exchange of money for a somewhat set amount of play time. Even this is fluid! There are times when a Pro Dom enjoys herself so much that she loses track of time, or there's an "extended session rate". Due to the need for breaks a specific amount of play time over a couple of days is not negotiated.

Why do I think my style is different? For one, I have lengthier negotiations. Some argue this kills the lovely spontaneity of play time. There's something to be said about saying over the phone, "I'm into corporal and heavy bondage," and then sussing out limits upon arrival at the play space. Perhaps it's the throwing yourself at a Mistress's mercy that appeals to some. I, on the other hand, think this is irresponsible. Having worked in a commercial dungeon and having to look at the chicken scratch list of clients interests and boundaries 15 minutes before a session made for some unpleasant encounters. My current negotiations last over a period of a few days to a few months. Why? Because at this stage in my career, I want loyalty. I want all sorts of information that you'll never know when I'll use to your advantage/disadvantage/predicament. I want a deeper level of play time and get my kicks out of the connections that build through time rather than the quick buck I may or may not make. My lengthier negotiations also separate the dick dialers(those who see pretty pictures of Mistresses, call her instantly, and do no research on her) from the true submissives that can afford their kink. You can probably guess by reading this that Professional Domination isn't my only source of income. It was in the past, and I know what I had to put up with in order to make that sort of living. In time, who knows? Maybe I'll build up a larger and extremely loyal stable.

Second, the way I view Professional Domination is different as well. I don't like the attitude that we're in the "service industry". To me, that says the following: I pay you under the illusion of domination. In actuality, I tell you specifically what I want done to me, and if you don't do it how I want you to do it, then either I won't see you again, or I not only won't see you again, but I'll also smear your reputation on public forums. Yes, there is that exchange of money for time, but the reason I have a tribute is so people RESPECT MY TIME. Professional Domination is a business, but it's a business for those who can't openly live a kinky lifestyle, want the security of playing with someone who has honed her craft, and/or has obscure fetishes that the average lifestyle player can't get into or doesn't have the resources to indulge in.

So what is Professional Domination to me? It's something that teeters the line of lifestyle play time, friendship, and business. I dedicate time between sessions to converse-via email or if the person feels inclined to call my niteflirt lines-and discuss changes in boundaries, what worked and what didn't, increases in the amount of service she/he can provide, and more. I also grab coffee, tea, wine, lunch, or dinner on occasion with clients to talk kink, set up a session, or discuss important issues. Though I am generous with my time, I'm also firm with how much time I can give. My sessions take into consideration your interests, but I will do what I want when we play. I will dabble in your interests, but also expose you to other related activities. Your boundaries are always respected.

The other BIG thing that sets me apart from other Mistresses is release. I do not allow physical release, choking the bishop, etc. in my presence! Strangely, I've noticed this is a deal breaker for many guys seeking Pro Dom sessions. There's this attitude of, "since I'm paying, I should be able to jerk off at the end." Hmm...I thought you were paying for a power exchange. If I decide I am not amused in the slightest by guys jerking off in front of me, that's my decision. This "I'm paying" attitude ends up equating Pro Doms with common whores. Professional Domination should not be having to watch guys jerk off all the time. As I've said in another blog, you can jerk off at any time. How often do you get to see a skilled Mistress? You can replay your time with her on your own and jerk off. Holding off on stroking it will make for a much more powerful orgasm anyway! When you go home and jerk it after our session, what you replay in your mind tells me what was most erotic for you during our time together. It's a good gauge on what I can dabble more in later on. So, our time together is the gift that keeps on giving! Ha!

So perhaps, I'm not a Pro Dom for the clients who like to session occasionally and never think about kink until their next session(typically 6 months later). I seek to actively engage people so they can be comfortable with their perversions. So, I'm a Pro Dom for FemDom hedonists that indulge in kink instead of being compulsive...if you're wondering what the difference is, stay tuned. That's another essay for another time.